Ninety-year old fulfills life-long dream with Bar Mitzvah
By Gary Javitch, Special to the Jewish Press
“Never say ‘never.’” Just ask Danny Rubin. In awe, he recently watched his 90-year old father climb up on the Bimah at the Chabad House to become a Bar Mitzvah. The brief ceremony took place late on the last Thursday morning in May before a minyan of family and friends. It was followed by a light lunch.
That the celebration took place 77 years after Elliot “Bus” Rubin decided to forego the ritual for thirteen-year olds made it no less emotional. Nor tense. Who Knew? It was a surprise to the entire family that the nonagenarian even wanted a Bar Mitzvah.
According to his wife Betty, his desire to be Bar Mitzvah was a wish he kept secret these many long years, even from her.
The Background
Bus Rubin, the founder of Rubin Distributing, may have typified many a young, soon-to-be-teenage Jewish boy of his era. He didn’t particularly like after-school Hebrew classes. “Then one day after being disciplined a little too harshly, with his father’s approval, the 12-year old just stopped going,” his son explained.
Shevi Katzman, a daughter of Chabad Rabbi Mendel and Shani Katzman, picks up the story. As part of Chabad’s outreach efforts, “Rabbi Katzman was visiting Blumkin Home residents. He asked Bus if wanted to put on Tefillin and was turned down.” Bus then sheepishly confessed he never had a Bar Mitzvah and went on to explain that at age 90, it was a little late to brush up on his Hebrew.
In a separate interview, his son Danny added, “My father never really had a Jewish education, like all of us did. But two months ago, he came in contact with the Katzman girls,” he said, referring to Mushka and Shevi.
“In the Home, they visited my father quite a few times, which he really enjoyed. Mushka really took the lead and talked to him about a Bar Mitzvah,” Danny said. “With Mushka’s visits and encouragement,” according to Danny, “my dad’s fear gave way and he agreed to go through with a ceremony.”
David Cohen, new to the community and a Chabad supporter, worked with Bus on his Hebrew.
Getting to the Podium
“Bus is in the home now because he is too weak to take care of himself and I can no longer help him around the house, especially following his silent heart attack not too long ago,” Betty related.
“So doing his Bar Mitzvah at the Chabad House also was unusual because he rarely leaves the Blumkin Home, except to go to the doctor’s.”
At the Chabad House, Bus who uses a walker, was helped to a chair on the Bimah. The Torah was removed from the Ark and brought to the platform table top. Danny had an “aliyah” (When called, going up to the Bimah for the honor of reading the torah.) So did his nephew John Robinson.
Then it was Bus’s turn. He was assisted to the Torah and leaned over to read. Gripping the bimah, he began. His voice was barely audible, reflecting his nervousness. He struggled a little, his eyes glistened as did those of quite a few others who watched.
The different Rubin generations were all present. There were his wife and 96-year old sister Ethel, son and daughter-in-law Lynn, and his granddaughter Jennifer and her husband Erin – all observing closely from different positions in the room.
As he stood there, Bus gained more confidence and then pushed on, reciting his portion of the service. Jerry Rosinsky performed a closing aliyah and shortly thereafter the Torah was returned to its place of honor in the Ark. And it was over. It was remarkable.
The new Bar Mitzvah was both pleased and perhaps a little relieved. The family was proud. “At his age, it was very meaningful to him to go through the ceremony,” Danny extolled. A smiling Bus received his congratulatory plaudits with a sense of pleasure and satisfaction.
A little about Bus
“He built his business, Rubin Distributing, from scratch,” according to his wife. He had a great reputation in the community and people like Joe Guss (now deceased) told me ‘I always enjoyed doing business with Bus, because he was a man of integrity.’ That comment was echoed by others, too,” his wife added proudly.
Of the couple’s three adult children, just Danny was able to attend. The ceremony was more a spur of the moment event, so Bus and Betty’s other kids, Sue and Tom, who live out of town and could not attend. “The kids gave Dad a beautiful Kiddush cup,” Danny divulged.
The couple, married 63 years have outlived many of their special friends like Al Nepomnick and Yale Richards. But other friends like Harriet Singer, Steve Abrahamson, and Mace Jabenis all came to support Bus’s efforts. And nephew Mike Mogil took some great pictures while his wife Suzi observed the events.
Afterthoughts
Having a Bar Mitzvah at 90, is a little different than holding one at 13. Nevertheless, Betty noted that “Bus asked me, ‘Did I do ok?’” And Danny said afterwards, when Bus returned to the Home after the ceremony, he felt pretty good, although he did take a long afternoon nap.
“I can’t say enough about how patient Mushka and Shevi were, Danny said. “The rabbi and his kids make a great team.
“I don’t know how much more time my dad has. And he is one of the least materialistic people on this earth. But I think now,” Danny concluded, “that my dad feels his life is pretty complete.”
Bus Rubin, obm, passed away on the 19th of Elul, 5769 - September 8th, 2009, days before his 91st birthday.
